Sometimes I feel compelled to have a conversation with myself to better understand the in’s and out’s of my ever so active mind. Usually the conversation begins like this, “what were you thinking”. Lately, I ask myself that question and instead of an immediate answer I sit in silence. I’ve at times been known for my knee jerk reactions to life’s difficult questions. I’ve learned though-that silence is golden and truly thinking the question through can lead to a better understanding of me, my hopes, my desires and my dreams.
I’ve always been a dreamer. Yet as I have grown into myself I’ve realized that realism is more a part of my make-up than that of dreams. Now, I tend to call my dreams my hope which seems a far better moniker. I am hopeful for a myriad of things in life. As I look at my hopes through the lens of realism I have been able to more clearly establish my life’s trajectory and figure out the business of living. I certainly don’t have it all “nailed down” but damnit I’m working on it.
As I’ve grown in life I’ve realized that the honest assessment of my situation is that I am happy beyond belief with where I’ve journeyed. The independence of knowing that I can live in relentless passion gives me the energy to realize that what I need in life is simply the availability of myself to be willing to take chances and to learn from those “dice rolls”. Beyond those needs there are several things that I want—yet, my wants are simply that-- things that I want---and hopefully those wants will become a part of the person I’ve become and the person I am becoming.
