Somthing...Like this

As I continued on in my first semester at the University, I had encountered a new found freedom to simply be me. I was a little concerned at how this would play out in the life of those around me-those who knew me best. Luckily, Lexington was far enough away from Frankfort that it really didn't matter and I could be who I really was when I was at school. On the occasion, I would run into people from "back home". The best was when I would run into those with whom I had gone to school. You remember-the ones who found it fun to bully. They were stuck in the mundane life of FCHS and were all the more resentful of the new life I had found-and quite frankly I loved it. (It's amazing how many friends you can have when you're in college and they are still in high school).

Throughout my first semester I worked hard at finding myself and at finding my voice. I wanted to shake the former worries of who would say what and how I would be approached. Even though I set out to do so-I found it very hard to shake the need to always be looking over my shoulder out of worry about what would happen.

Joel was a rather handsome guy. Taller than I, black hair, dark complexion-and very athletic in stature. He played club sports at the university and we had several classes together. Usually we would bump into each other in the food court or while waiting for classes. He was always very conversational and approachable. We quickly became friends and formed something of a bond that was close.

I later found out that he too was bullied through middle school and high school and didn't quite match the guy who I saw standing before me. He was a poor kid-on free lunch and who wore his brothers hand me downs most of the time. His school supplies came from the school resource person and his meals from the local food banks.

Coming to the University was something of a major stepping stone for him. He was able to come on grants that would pay for his education. He was finally free. We would talk about our struggles growing up and being the brunt of the jeers from our classmates. The more we shared the more I realized I was not alone.

Joel confided in me that he was attracted to me. Yet, he wasn't at a place where he could outwardly show his feelings. For that matter, I was on new ground when it came to finally being able to live my life without care or concern for who would say anything (until later down the road). I had confided the same in him. We continued to share time together and to spend more of our free time hanging out. It was truly one of those Jonathan and David sort of kismets. Joel become my first boyfriend-I felt free.