There is one thing I've learned in the last year that has without a doubt been foundational to the "thrust" into the new year, that is this: never allow yourself the opportunity of loosing yourself no matter what. Do not allow someone to take from you the things you hold dear-in the core of your being. Do not let those "core things" go from you-no matter what your reasoning or what you think you "need" to do in order to make a situation happy, healthy and whole. In the end what you learn is this: once you are void of yourself, you are left empty un-sustained and manipulated-to the point that you either recover from your downfall or you just give in and allow the perpetuation of the emptying of self to continue.
As I finished out my high school career, and began the transition into college I realized I was able to begin the process of being who I was. Since I didn't jump off the ledge-I realized I had made a choice-to honor the "fearfully and wonderfully made" me. I graduated high school early in 1994 (by default-I got kicked out of chorus for telling the teacher how to play a rhythm on the piano). So, I took an extra English credit and was able to get out of high school a semester ahead of my class. This was like a re-birth of sorts for me. I began college the next semester and finally, there was no one around who had been jeering me. It was quite interesting being able to go to school-and relax and really "get into" learning.
Somehow I managed to meet people too. Prior to entering college that semester, I was very much a loaner at school. I quickly realized that people didn't care that I was gay, they didn't care that I was who I was-they just liked me for me. It was getting better!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw
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